Roaches on Rails

Braving rush hour traffic in Hanoi on our bicycles to get to the central station was an interesting if not entirely enjoyable experience.

We survived.

Took a big chance with our bikes - severe linguistic limitations prevented us from booking them on the freight car in advance, so we just wheeled them in on the day.

An initially icy reception from the staff turned warmer when they realised we were actually smiling at them, and though the car was full on our train they will be delivering them for us around midnight tonight, for a morning pickup. A little reading shows this is fairly standard so hoping to be reunited shortly.
Update: They arrived in perfect condition and on time.

My first attempt at filling in the form - aggressively disposed of

Trip: Hanoi -> Hue / 12 hours overnight / 1000+km

Cost: 1,100k VND for 2 people = around 50 dollars each
          205k VND for 2 bikes = around 5 dollars each

There were several options for seating on the night train - in order of price (low to high): 

'Hard Seated'

'Hard Sleeper Level 3, 2, 1'

'Soft Sleeper Level 2, 1'

6 people in each room

We opted for the level 3 hard seater - second cheapest but seemingly the most secure for our cumbersome and impractical panniers.

Spacious!

Settling in for the long run and switching my Kindle on to the later chapters of Iain M Banks' 'Use of Weapons' (great book) I noticed that the 6 bipedal humanoids in the compartment were not the only passengers present.

Cockroaches have never been my forte.
Not sure why - must be cultural programming. I never even saw one until I went to Japan.

TV evidently decided that I should not like these cute little critters, for no discernible reason. After all, 'Friends' somehow convinced me I didn't like Achovies on Pizza for 25 years until that wonderful moment of enlightenment when their infinite superiority over all other cheese-and-dough conspirators made itself known..

Mmmm... Anchovies...

Besides, these roaches are probably better travelled than most of the humans I have encountered over the years; making the 3000km north-south journey a good 5 times per week. Most of them have probably racked up enough miles to get a free flight to the moon. 

Decided to settle in and use this as a meditative experience. If we're gonna be roughing it in Asia for the coming months I'm sure we'll see far worse things than a few little beetles. Incidentally I hear tarantula tastes like pork crackling.

What's the difference between a cockroach and a dog? If anything, roaches are probably 'better evolved' than dogs - I hear they reached their evolutionary peak a good few million years back. 

Darwin still prefers spiders

The internal debate went something like this:

• Pro: They'll clean the room of biodegradable waste - like a Roomba
• Con: Roomba don't have antennae
• Pro: They're harmless to humans
• Con: They'll play poker on your eyelids the second you fall asleep
• Pro: They're perfectly evolved organisms
• Con: Which can survive for 3 days after you cut their heads off and nuke the f*ck out of them

... I'm making this sound worse than it was... but in all honesty the entrance to their cave was right where my head lay, and they did make me jump for a while. Hard to focus on a book when the background keeps moving.

....

I waged a small war with the first one I saw... waiting for his little head to poke out and eventully flicking him down to the lower levels when I'd lulled him into a false sense of security.

The second and third were easier - they seemed more eager to get under my covers and ended up on the floor too. No casualties.

But I think they my have been waiting for the golden hour - around 10pm they came out en masse to look for left-over snacks in the cabin.

Watched the fourth eating crumbs from a pog I found in my crisps earlier. Realised it's the first time I've ever seen a cockroach's tiny little head and adorable little mandibles poking out from under its hardened shell.

Onto the floor with him.

After that it was one or two or three of them a minute. Not big ones, mind you - only a couple of centimetres. Perfect chance to build up a resistance.

... and I did.

And I slept.

And I thanked the lord that cockroach resiliency more closely resembles 'starting at the shallow end' than 'furiously scrubbing your eyeballs with freshly chopped onions'.

The cockroaches are my friends.

Who wants a hug?

I will probably eat some of my friends on this journey - preferably fried and not fresh, voluntary not involuntary. Who knows.

Next stop: Giant Centipede...?

Only a foot long

Serious note: I can't fault the staff on the train. They were very careful to make sure we were looking after our bags and came to alert us when our stop was near. The passengers who shared our cabin (the human ones) were also very nice. All in all a great experience.

Disclaimer: No cockroaches were harmed during the trip. Float like a butterfly and land like a cat. Great little creatures.