This basically entails giving up all contact with the outside world, not communicating with other meditators for the duration of the retreat, and sitting an observing your body and mind for 10 hours per day, for 10 days straight. The technique was developed by the Buddha but is not religious in nature. In fact, religious symbols are prohibited in the retreat and people from all religions join.
Calling it a holiday is somewhat tongue-in-cheek - this is probably going to be tough.
TED talk about Vipassana:
I have dabbled in meditation at various points in my life - usually when I was a bit lost or frustrated or found my mind spiralling out of control about some seemingly major loss / inadequacy / injustice I had felt.
Each time I did so I found it helped me achieve a calmer, more objective view of the situation, and essentially 'let go' of whatever was bothering me. The emotions were still there, but they didn't upset me as much because I didn't associate with them as closely. Sooner or later they moved on.
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| The original draft of this movie was called Bairdman |
As soon as things improved I promptly stopped meditating, and started on the not-so-long and not-so-winding road back to being caught up in a babbling nonsensical internal monologue obsessed with creating issues out of thin air.
When I entered Thailand I started meditating again, and this time I've stuck with it for a good couple of months. 20 minutes morning and evening, focusing on breath and then bodily sensations. Allowing thoughts and sensations to come and go, observed but not reacted to.
The first 2 weeks were great - I felt as focused and energetic as a hummingbird. After that things started to slow down a bit - I found myself groggy or my mind wandering. I felt like I might jump out of my skin at times or fall asleep at others.
Or was this a case of increased mindfulness?
People 20% fluent in a language will tend to overestimate their abilities because they only notice their successes. People 80% fluent will underestimate themselves because they are aware of their failures. Being aware of these mental fluctuations is most likely a sign that the practice is working. I still get irritable and still respond to the irritability, but I find it easier to observe that process and move on from it.
"Why am I seeing red? Oh... it must be these red glasses I put on... Let's take them off."
Not quite that easy, but you get the idea.
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| This is Dog. If you can focus on me, you're pretty messed up... |
Anyway, I decided to sign up for this (pretty hardcore) retreat because I've met a fair few people who have done it, and they all say it changed their lives. Every experience seems completely unique - some pleasurable, some not; some out of body experiences, some becoming totally aware of the smallest knots of tension in their physical being. Probably some who also fell asleep a lot.
That said, 10 days x 10 hours = 100 hours of sitting and looking at your inner workings in a purely objective way. 04:00 wake up and 21:30 to bed. No reading, writing, music or contact with anyone. Not even eye contact with others at the retreat.
Not going to be easy.
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| Quite the party town from what I hear. |
In fact, it's probably going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I've always said that nothing worth doing is easy... so in a couple of days I'll be heading up Penang Hill to delve into the darkest depths of my mind. And to see if I can't fix some of the deeply-embedded 'f***-you-uppers' which daily life has somehow planted in me over the years (Mum! He has more chips than meeee!)
Not really! My mum did a pretty good job.
Here are some of the things I expect:
- Boredom
- Excitement
- Itches, twitches
- Feeling happy when I achieve concentration, then losing that concentration because I want to keep the happiness.
- Agitation, physical and mental
- Wanting to claw my way out of my skin
- Unbearably hot one minute, then perfectly alright the next
- Wondering why the hell I am doing this
- Reminding myself that it's essentially a crash-course in mental health. That everything I am experiencing is part of 'me'
- Wondering if I'm doing it right...
- Realising that I'm getting it wrong just by wondering that.
- Realising I'm thinking about eating a chocolate sundae
- Letting go of this chain of thought rather than trying to trace it back to its roots (mmm.. chocolate)
- Pain in my legs and back. Numbness in my feet. Watching it rather than responding.
- Experiencing bodily sensations I never knew existed
- Seeing them all come and go of their own accord
- Hopefully achieving some small amount of insight into the nature of things - myself and the world viewed through my eyes
Thing I don't expect:
- Enlightenment
... but these are just guesses. Who knows - I might come running down the mountain with tears in my eyes after only a couple of hours realising that it's oh-so-much easier for me to drink myself sightless than to look openly at what lies buried deep in the psyche.
But all that said, I'm looking forward to it. I think it will be an experience never to be forgotten. It will be hard work, but work worth doing.
We train our physical bodies to stay physically fit; this is exercise for the mental body.
And after all, the only person we are guaranteed to be with until the end of our days is the self. If a piece of paper with your name on it and £15,000 of debt is worth 4 years of study at university, then surely it's worth spending 10 days studying the filter through which you experience the whole of reality.
In case you're interested in having a shot yourself, there'll surely be one near you. They are free of charge (operate on a donation basis) and are pretty much everywhere in the world: Vipassana Meditation Courses
In case you're interested in having a shot yourself, there'll surely be one near you. They are free of charge (operate on a donation basis) and are pretty much everywhere in the world: Vipassana Meditation Courses
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